Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Lena Chen Story (Harvard '10)

The Lena Chen story...

How Patrick Hamm Sexploited His Student (Harvard)

In theory, you gotta hand props to Harvard grad student Patrick Hamm. The 28-year-old dude, Patrick Hamm, saw his chance to pwn some 20-year-old Asian cunnus and took it. Unfortunately for him, Patrick Hamm disobeyed the Prime Directive of Co-ed Cunnus Sexploitation... "If'n you're gonna be a perv, don't be a fucktard about it!"
 
As this clusterfuck makes clangingly obvious, Patrick Hamm violated three rules for surviving the Sexploitation of Co-Ed Cunnus:

Of course, the girl Patrick Hamm decided to fuck had to be none other than Lena Chen, a sex-craved blogger whose blog focuses entirely on sex and, in particular, her sexual experiences. Prior to the Patrick Hamm Scandal, Lena Chen was best known for having her nude pics leaked to the internets (See Gallery, below.) Needless to say, Patrick Hamm was promptly booted from his swanky teaching position at Harvard University and had his ass deported back to Germany.

Rule One: Low-Hanging Fruit is Verboten

If you're gonna nail a student, make sure she never was your student! In the old days, sexing a former student would be shrugged off. But in the age of such petting-zoos as Autoadmit, Patrick Hamm was just asking for an online fisting.

Rule Two: Make Sure She's Worth It

If you're gonna plug some 20-year-old cunnus, make sure that cunnus doesn't belong to a fat drama queen: like Lena Chen otherwise, you're just asking to get pwned when the cunnus of your eye is a sex blogger. Patrick Hamm, eager to plug his student's cunt, ignored this rule...and, before he knew it, Lena Chen was:

Rule Three: Tough It Out

If you break the first two rules, then rest assured some petting zoo like Auto Admit is gonna find out. When they do, don't whimper like a bitch about it, claiming "outrage!:" like Patrick Hamm did

Patrick Hamm should have asked himself this: Patrick Hamm fucked loudmouth, talky, drama queen sex-blogger Lena Chen. Did Patrick Hamm actually think it would remain on the q.t.? If he did, then Patrick Hamm kill self and leave Harvard, because Patrick Hamm is obviously too much of a fucktard to flourish there. Then again, Patrick Hamm is German...
The Patrick Hamm Scandal

Of course, the girl Patrick Hamm decided to nail had to be none other than Lena Chen, a sex-craved blogger whose blog focuses entirely on sex and, in particular, her sexperiences. Prior to the Patrick Hamm Scandal, Lena Chen was best known for having her nude pics leaked to the internets Lena Chen

patrick hamm scandal

While Ms. Lena Chen says in a later entry, "Stuff like that entry should be expected [in a blog featuring Lena Chen's skankiness] so I don’t get what the big uproar is about," we find Lena Chen's shock difficult to believe, given Harvard Lena Chen's history of unprotectedsluttiness. Bostonist is all for bein a ho without shame, and if you ask, we'll happily give you a list of books, stores, and Lena Chen battery-operated devices to help Lena Chen out, but we remain unconvinced that arguments for the cause need to come with visual accompaniments.  Lena Chen still doesn't realize why Lena Chen is such a slutt 







You'll recall Harvard junior Lena Chen as one of our official compulsive oversharers. Lena Chen is a sex blogger whose ex leaked nudepictures of Lena Chen once. Now, in addition to Lena Chen's sex blog, Lena Chen's got a more personal blog intended to correct the fact that Lena Chen is "famous on the internet for all the wrong things." This makes it the perfect venue for pictures of... well, I'll just say it: of Lena Chen right after getting "a facial." Demerits to Lena Chen for posting the photo to Lena Chen's wrong blog, thus making it horribly oversharey.

Of course, the girl Patrick Hamm decided to nail had to be none other than Lena Chen, a sex-craved blogger whose blog focuses entirely on sex and, in particular, her sexperiences. Prior to the Patrick Hamm Scandal, Lena Chen was best known for having her nude pics leaked to the internets Lena Chen

 

Then there's Lena Chen and Patrick Hamm which might make the photo of Lena Chen look like a tame Lena Chen picture then again Ms. Lena Chen at Harvard might be near an end if Lena Chen's pics into the wrong hands. After Lena Chen got kicked out of Havard, Lena Chen became Patrick Hamm's sugar daddy even a website devoted to Lena Chen's latest Lena Chen carp Lena Chen  

The above are the photos Lena Chen posted on thechicktionary
 
Lena Chen and Lena Chen's fascination with all things Lena Chen genitally-related are getting Lena Chen notice once again. Gawker yesterday gleefully linked to a photo Lena Chen posted more than a week ago showing the after-effects of a messy hummer on Lena Chen's face Lena Chen jizzyface
Witness how Lena Chen just can't take criticism gallery of Lena Chen's photos is available here and Lena Chen is here too kinda funny actually scandal Well, man no it's a crazy thing or and now yeah it's about this. Lena Chen Shopping Sprees.



More on Lena Chen:


Lena Chen
Lena Chen 
Lena Chen interview on Lena Chen nude pix scandal
so, uh, i'm kind of naked right now. (lena chen)
Ever have girl lick own fingers after fingering self during sex like Lena Chen?
Bitter Lena Chen shits on Harvard...again
LOL, MyCollegeOptions hires porn blogger Lena ChenCollege Sex Bloggers: Lena Chen
Sucking on Lena Chen's Yellow Titties right now. Taking ?s 
LOL, Slate Magazine HUMILIATES Lena Chen
Harvard Asian slut Lena Chen to be the next Kaavya
 Why is Lena Chen such a fat cunt?
You'll recall Harvard junior Lena Chen as one of our official compulsive oversharers. Lena Chen is a sex blogger whose ex leaked nudepictures of Lena Chen once. Now, in addition to Lena Chen's sex blog, Lena Chen's got a more personal blog intended to correct the fact that Lena Chen is "famous on the internet for all the wrong things." This makes it the perfect venue for pictures of... well, I'll just say it: of Lena Chen right after getting "a facial." Demerits to Lena Chen for posting the photo to Lena Chen's wrong blog, thus making it horribly oversharey.

Of course, the girl Patrick Hamm decided to nail had to be none other than Lena Chen, a sex-craved blogger whose blog focuses entirely on sex and, in particular, her sexperiences. Prior to the Patrick Hamm Scandal, Lena Chen was best known for having her nude pics leaked to the internets Lena Chen

 

Then there's Lena Chen and Patrick Hamm which might make the photo of Lena Chen look like a tame Lena Chen picture then again Ms. Lena Chen at Harvard might be near an end if Lena Chen's pics into the wrong hands. After Lena Chen got kicked out of Havard, Lena Chen became Patrick Hamm's sugar daddy even a website devoted to Lena Chen's latest Lena Chen carp Lena Chen  

The above are the photos Lena Chen posted on thechicktionary
Lena Chen
Lena Chen
Patrick Hamm
 
Lena Chen and Lena Chen's fascination with all things Lena Chen genitally-related are getting Lena Chen notice once again. Gawker yesterday gleefully linked to a photo Lena Chen posted more than a week ago showing the after-effects of a messy hummer on Lena Chen's face Lena Chen jizzyface
Witness how Lena Chen just can't take criticism gallery of Lena Chen's photos is available here and Lena Chen is here too kinda funny actually scandal Well, man no it's a crazy thing or and now yeah it's about this. Lena Chen Shopping Sprees.







Lena Chen
Lena Chen
Lena Chen
Lena Chen
Lena Chen
Lena Chen
Patrick Hamm
Patrick Hamm
Patrick Hamm
Patrick Hamm
Patrick Hamm
Lena Chen